Again and forever

This isn’t at all what I expected
I was angry and I asked You to help
And you did
From within you pushed out
The stain inside
My eyes opened
My ears heard
My heart changed

The stain was gone
I thought the bad would forever leave
So life could be easy
Just You and me
Expiation of my internal struggle
My heart would stay whole
But the bad keeps fighting back
Shattering that which You repaired

I guess it’s not like that
Because You suffered for me
Then I should prepare to do so for You
I am not of the world
But I am in the world
So I will suffer
My heart must break
To align with Your salvation

What I know is this
I asked as I was awash in sin
And You provided healing anyway
If I can accept Your will to do so again
Then I must keep asking
Once wasn’t enough
You gave me a moment
So that I could give You my life

What You offer me forever
Is far greater than what I suffer now
I’ve received a glimpse of Your promise
This time I will keep asking
Persevering in Your hope
Believing in Your promise
Own my heart once more
Turn stone into flesh

Wash me again
Erase the new stain of my old sin
I have fallen and am lost
Sin exploits my weakness
Yet my strength is in You alone
As You see me as more than my sin
Please help me now
Again and forever